Chris Llewellyn – Guitarist Hero

Awesome news, Chris. You shred on a totally different level, oh my brother. Now you, Chris, are my American Idol. Taking down that disturbed man that will now rot in jail for terrorism charges was an act of bravery above and beyond that of any drummer, bass player, or chick singer. You have struck a G Chord in the hearts of children worldwide who wonder if being in a crappy band will ever pan out and bring them fame. You have proven YES IT WILL!

Is it just me or have we heard enough from Tom Cruise? He is the Valkyrie! Watch Tom fly. As I look at his career from asshole college kid to asshole fighter pilot to asshole pool player to asshole bartender to asshole Vietnam vet to asshole race car driver to asshole Irishman to asshole Marine to asshole lawyer to asshole vampire to asshole secret agent to asshole hitman, etc… I realize that the freak has only been in 34 movies. This makes a star? The only thing he has going is his need for media attention, a weird toothy smile, and the fact his ex-wife looks like a Cupie doll. Oh yeah, I forget he is mired in a made-up religion that believes *I* am somehow responsible for the evacuation of the Tryylians from their home planet. (Which can NOT be true because the planet they were inhabiting during the NECESSARY evacuation due to the Gqqserua War was one that they inhabited after the Invasion of Krglahr in which 40000 Vertookz warriors died in prison camps. Don’t blame ME Tom whose-last-name-isn’t-even-Cruise!)

I am starting to get annoyed with people who say ‘actual’ or ‘actually’ when it is completely not a required part of the sentence they are speaking. WHAT? Examples you want?

  • When the girl on the phone at customer service for the power company tells me that in a week, they will be mailing the ‘actual’ check. Well, isn’t THAT fucking pleasant! I would hate to get the FAKE CHECK!
  • When I am at the Home Depot and I ask where a certain kind of screw is, and the lady tells me to follow her to where the ‘actual’ screws are. Crapola! I thought the wooden ladder-looking things in front of me WERE the actual screws!
  • Some guy tells me that the ‘actual’ cost of something is different than what the tag says.

Well, fuck me. I am starting like this ACTUAL thing. I guess the virtual thing was becoming passe, so people started to pay attention to REAL THINGS. Praise the lord for actuality.

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