The end of it all.

So, as we all know by now, today at or about 6:00pm EDT, the rapture will occur and all of the repentent Christians will be sucked up to heaven by The Holy Hoover where they will merge into the God-Consciousness for all eternity. For the rest of the human race, apparently we get to clean up the mess left behind in the form of broken families, pets without owners, car accidents, plane crashes, companies without CEOs, football teams without coaches, and so on. This is no doubt all part of God’s great plan, as He can see the future and knows what will happen after He pushes the BASEMENT button on the Sacred Elevator and liberates the few people that have actually LIVED like Christ throughout their lives and not lived as hypocrites like those in the temples of Jerusalem of old.

I am posting this last MCHY news so you are not shocked by my disappearance this afternoon or moreso by the fact that though I have professed the path of the Buddha for the last many years of my life, I have in reality been… a Clandestine Christian; a Semite-in-Secret; a Back-door Born-again; a Worshipper-under-wraps; a cloak-and-dagger true-believer. I admit it all! Ahhh HA HA HA HA! It is I who will sit at the right hand of our Lord, whilst 99.987% of the rest of you will perish in the great earthquakes and floods (now called tsunamis) to come upon your land as vengence from Jehovah. Vengence for exactly what, I am not sure, but I know it has to do with that guy that sang that "teach me how to dougie" song being shot to death. He was a straight up G and is burning it up downstairs with the Red Guy as we speak. Try to dougie while you are on fire, M-BONE! Ssssss… ahhh!

I have often thought about how it will feel to clean the sandals and robe of the creator whilst he annoints me and explains the whole Hawking Radiation thing to me. I mean, really… can a black hole swallow EVERYTHING? I see on the news that people are already starting to confess sins to each other and their loved ones! I certainly hope they get to ride the Eternal Escalator and not remain behind with those who have been wronged by the confessors.

So, that being said… it was a pleasure knowing you all. Thank you for all the cat pictures and funny captions. If I beat that bastard Sir Timothy John Berners-Lee to the great IT department in the sky, I plan on re-instituting the MCHY site, but in Heaven-Space. See ya, suckers!