So, here we are in 2012. Are we going to die from some ancient Mayan curse? Is planet X, a.k.a. Nibiru (or Trasalank) going to bring our slavemasters to Earth to reap benefits from the spermogenesis they unleashed 6000 years ago? What the fuck is going on here on our rock?
Here at MCHY we have a wee bit of the insight! Please click below to see the MCHY Year in Review video clip. It is offensive (as one would expect) and also in the .m4v format. If you do not dig it the most, I cry all over my gold bars. *sob sob*
Let’s see here in the ball of crystal… OH! It is the birthday of the King of Rock and/or Roll music. Happy birthday Elvis Presley.
One year ago, the insane schizo Jared Lee Laughner kills a bunch of people in Tuscon, AZ because he is… well, an insane schizo. Gabrielle Giffords is shot through the skull, and I do mean THROUGH, and survives. I wonder how that went over in jail?
Cop: Hey, nutjob asshole bald guy, Giffords, your intended target of assassination didn’t die. You know she was a friend of the President, doncha? You are going to be sitting around in a concrete room for a long time.
Jared: uhhh… *drool* *sputter*
Happy birthday to Dr. Stephen Hawking as well! And he is still alive. MCHY did an interview with Dr. Hawking "last year" that I am in the process of editing and getting onto the website for everyone to listen to. It is very enlightening. And ALL about cats, can you believe that?
Dating Advice – Pt. 1
Though I am only 42 years young, I believe I have – through the mystical, ancient Chinese process of failure – gathered enough "weird tricks" and "superlative triple undergrounds" to have some beneficial rhetoric that remains in the state of Cairo-ness. Stone and the reeds of the Nile are testament. This is the truth as it has been made known to me by the creator, Harleton Cheston. Mostly will these be relative to men, it works in any direction.
- If your girlfriend tells you "I am a man-hater!", she is. For sure, no doubt. She has major "daddy issues" and will never look at you as an equal and will in fact blame you for every evil in the world and in fact tell you that ALL men want to rape their daughters and bring STDs (notably herpes) home to their wives. It is best to leave the relationship as soon as humanly possible. You will probably have to borrow money for a place to stay because she has spent all your money.
- If this fictional "love of your life" tells you that "I never take money from men!" do not believe her, and – as an act of self-preservation – leave as soon as possible. The truth will be that she WILL in fact take ALL of your money, while claiming she is independant from men who seek to prey on her worldly goods. You will hear this crap spewed daily, while you pay for EVERYTHING because she has "forgotten her wallet" or "just needs a few dollars real quick." Understand that when you suggest SPLITTING the $100 dinner she will explain that it is "OUR MONEY, SO WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT?" to which you will have to wonder: if it is OUR money, why does it always come out of MY bank account. You would do well to have a separate bank account where you keep the majority of your wealth, because within a month or two this person will be asking to see your bank balance because you are "…in a committed relationship, so I should know how much money you have."
- If you are driving down the street with your girlfriend in her BMW 325i and she yells out the window to the black woman and her young children walking down the street, "You gotta kill those while they are young!" or screams at people driving next to her, "Get the hell over, you fucking ****ers!" it would be suggested by empirical evidence that you leave the relationship because a racist does not make a good partner in the long run. Eventually, she will turn on YOUR nationality and the ancestors of your very family.
- If your sweetheart constantly casts judgements on every human within her visual targeting system, bringing attention to their race, height, weight, visage, clothing, gait, hairstyle, car, make-up, purse, red-tipped cane, and then condems them for being human, understand that you will be next on the list. As will all of your friends, anyone you were in a relationship in the past, your family, etc. It must be said that no one can be as perfect as this partner of yours. You will never meet their expectations and your clothes are "stupid Seattle outfits" that don’t belong anywhere outside the 206 area code. (or whatever city you may hail from)
- More to come…