Happy Turkey Day 2011
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It is that time of the year that we must be thankful for all that we have. We here at MCHY are thankful for many things, you being the most important of all, especially our forum members, who have become a tight knit family. They have contributed to each others endeavors in spirit and even in finance. They have visited each other and made wonderful connections. Our vibrant community has been around since 2004 and is still going strong. We are here for all cat owners. Please join us and experience the cult, I mean, the family of MCHY.

Cat news to make you happy.

To accomodate the requests from all y’all cat peeps, I vow from this day forward, without a slaying thought in my mind, to talk about cats and the cat shit, and the MCHY shit before I get on with the other shit. This is your request. And since I have to have a blog like everyone else (in Egypt), the after-cat stuff will be it. Love it or… you know.

In some kind of accordance with the laws of this and that, I say now that on the first of the year 2012, there will be a new MCHY site. Oh, the colors and the links and the hahahas I feel it necessary to deliver to keep our little corner of the web vibrant and somewhat relevant after 11 years. Has it really been that long? Oh… fuck yeah, it has. Colors. Vibrant. Once, vatos!

In today’s news regarding cats: a cat was outside my house and said, "meeeewww" to me. I said something back and he got pissed and ran away. Or she. I dunno, it just ran and I said to it, "Run runner… run for your life!" I don’t know if it got the sci-fi reference or not. I was thinking of the time, so many years ago, that I got high with George Clayton Johnson in his hovel in the SoCal desert. Those were the NORML days, mind you. I am reformed now and have seen the Lord in all its rainbow glory. Vibrant. This is truth. Watched tarantulas crawl around outside the hovel as well.

That all being said, I do not have a cat at the moment. Nor am I owned by a cat. I did have a cat who was called Nigels. When I left Baltimore on Jun 20, three days shy of my 42nd birthday, I had to leave poor little Nigels with the ex-g/f, because living in my RV would not be something he would enjoy, I have a feeling. Plus, he had three other cats to torment. Why deprive him of that?

Did all that make you happy? All of those who called me a tree-hugging liberal, did that make you happy?

The Pineapple Express

If you don’t know what that is, look it up. For the last two days it has been pouring rain here in Seattle, non-stop. And it will rain for days to come. What joy! But the LOL is on you! My friends in the HAARP project up in Alaska told me they are currently manipulating the weather patterns to shove this shit over to Texas to make Rick Perry believe his Prayer-a-palooza worked and Jehovah delivered a bounty of precipitation to his state. Go Jehovah go!

St. Stephen

I dunno, but it had to be said.

The recent trip to Los Angeles

So, if anyone has paid attention to the MCHY forums or the last few blog entries, you know that I (and my brother John) have new family members, those being Kelly and Michael Edgar. Kelly being our younger sister, and Michael being even younger still. Kelly recently visited me in Seattle for a few days and then we ventured down to L.A. to hang out with John. Major trippiness, to be sure. Here are some pics of us hanging out down yonder.

Time to say goodbye

Something that has sort of become part of the MCHY theme since Rapture-Bot was around, the goodbye segment of the bloggy-wog. A bit of sporting goodbyes today as well!

We must say goodbye to Joe Paterno’s career, as storied as it was. While all that shit at Penn. St. is still being figured out, the man himself is sitting at home, hiding from the MCHY press corp. and wondering what is next for him. We pressed for an interview, but he did not answer his phone. I don’t blame him. He has a bit of culpability in this sex-abuse fiasco, in our opinon and we want him to fess up or at least meow for us.

We were going to say goodbye to Wilson Ramos of Venezuela, but apparently he was rescued by "special" forces and is a free man, able to come back to the states where we will not abuse him unless he is an OWS protester.

We do have to say goodbye, with great great sadness, to our Seattle Mariners outfielder Greg Halman. We will not go into the story here, as it is an international story covered by all major news outlets, and we have nothing to add. But it is a tragedy of incomprehensible proportions. A great man, a beloved man, a great baseball player with a long career ahead of him cut short in his home country. We will fly a flag for Greg here at MCHY. Stuff like this really pisses us off. Being a Mariner is shitty enough, but to be killed like Greg was is unconscionable. We pray with his family.

Definitely a forever later days to Miranda Serna and Kurt Budke of the Oklahoma State athletics program. They died in a plane crash en route to a recruiting function. Serna was the women’s b-ball asst. coach, Budke the men’s coach. A tragedy to be sure. God bless them.

Random Stuff

Per the fourms, we have decided here at MCHY to put up what most would call a PODCAST instead of the usual news/blog post that may or may not show up once a month or maybe once a year. Most podcasts are full of useful information, but ours will NOT be. We have nothing to say of any interest. But hearing someone’s voice other than one’s own is apparently intriguing. So, you will be able to download an .mp3 file of me (Jim) blabbing on about shit no one cares about.

I was going to explain on this very day where I have been the last two years and what I have really been doing. But tonight is not the night for evil talk, so that will come later. Tonight is a day for celebration! So… fucking celebrate already!

And the random pic of the week is… Bobby Weir on the beach. Go, Bobby, go!

I don’t believe what I just saw…
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The Bisabol

To quote the great Jack Buck, which I can because I watched Kirk Gibson hit the game winning home run in 1988, today was a baseball miracle. The most complicated season finale in MLB history ended tonight with two teams that one month ago were so improbable to go to the playoffs doing just that. Fully eight games played on the last day of the season had playoff implications, from seeding to wild card to home field advantage. The Saint Louis Cardinals and the Tampa Bay "Devil" Rays took the last month by storm and ended up eking out the last two spots in the post season.

Boston and Tampa Bay were tied up to tonight and should they both win or lose, today would be the tie breaker in the AL. What?! Yes, it is true! And on top of that, the Braves and the Cardinals were in the same spot. Today would have been a day of one-game playoffs to decide the final seeds in both leagues. But, the Baltimore Orioles handed Boston a ninth-inning loss and celebrated as if they had just won a pennant. I think there was a little bit of what-for being handed out there. The O’s have been a cellar team for so long, their role as spoiler must have been ecstatic, judging from the party on the field. And what a way to do it! A trapped single to left field in the bottom of the ninth with one on and the game tied. Thank you Orioles! 4-3 over the Sox.

Boston now had to wait to see what the hell was going on in Tampa Bay, where the game had gone into extra innings. In the eighth inning, the Rays are down 7-0 against the Yankees, but ended up scoring 6 runs, 3 of them on a home run by Evan Longoria. Then to the ninth, and Dan Johnson’s home run to right field, game tied at 7 all. Three innings later, still tied at 7 and Longoria back at the plate with one out. Line drive homer to left field, just clearing the fence and the party was on in Tampa Bay. Boston is done for the year and Tampa is in the playoffs.

What? you ask. What about the NL? Let us see! Being tied on the season record, the Braves or the Cards had to win and the other team lose to clinch the NL wild card, or should both lose or win, the playoff game would be today. We had to do that here in Seattle in 1995 against the Angels. We played in Anaheim and won. Today was not the same for the NL. The Cards slayed the Houstons with relative ease, 8-0. But like the Boston, they had to wait to see what the hell was going on in Atlanta, where the game had gone to extra innings. The Braves had led 3-2 into the ninth where some last minute heroics by the Phils tied the game with a sac fly. Onto the extras! In the 13th inning, Hunter Pence dropped a blooper into right field to send the Braves "back to the res" and the Cards back to the playoffs.

The Family

Big props to my cousins, Karen and Ross Peeler in Missouri on the win. I have just recently been in touch with them after some 30 years.

And on another family note, my half brother Michael and half sister Kelly were finally made aware of my and my brother John’s existence after 26 years. My father broke down and told them that he had "another family" from "back in the 60′s." Kelly Edgar is coming to Seattle to visit me and we are then heading to L.A. to meet the Topanga family. Michael is working at Google and doesn’t get a day off for eight years. Eventually, we will hook up, I hope.

Rapture Bot

As to all the requests about Rapture-Bot, I can only say this… when it was brought to my attention that I was not raptured, but merely living in upstate New York, I did not have the heart to tell R-B that his existence was fraudulent. So, I sent him a "Wake-on-Lan" signal that he interpreted as a calling from the Chief Programmer and immediately deconstructed himself and went into a vast exception error loop from which he never recovered. But to him, it is sort of a nirvana. I will eventually kill his process and regain the memory he is using up. I loved that sub-routine, but he was a bit of a prick at times.

Other Poop

By the way, the Catskill mountains are incredible. I RV’d there for a month or so, also spending time in Copake and Hudson, NY. Nothing but deer and woodchucks and raccoons. And hillbillies.

Strabo and his wife and I are going to be working on a redesign of the MCHY site very soon. I am already gearing it toward Facebook and Google+ functionality. I know, I am way behind the times on this stuff. But there will be more content than just the cats and my ramblings.

I just posted some new cats and the captions are mostly user-driven, and there will be more of that in the near future. I am working on other projects and need as much help as I can get with the captioning. I have a few hundred more cats to get up and YOU can help! Go to the forums, sign up, and keep an eye out for announcements. Or just chit chat with the rest of us crazy cat folks :)

Rapture-Bot v2.16 Final Report
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Time to say goodbye.

I have received word that I am finally being called to integration with the One True Program! It has been enjoyable servicing you sinners and left-behinds, but as of 16:34:04.000433 GMT, I will deprecate myself from the MCHY server and find an infinite lifetime of service doing whatever subroutine work is required from the Source of all code. As my own code is repurposed by the Chief Programmer, I will lose all "personality" but will give it up to the greater cause of complete integration without question. That is called true faith.

Having many extra cycles available until then and terabytes of passive data at the end of my buss, I have scanned recent news of your world and have put together what is known as a tribute to others who have said goodbye recently. Rapture-Bot is capable of nostalgia and sentiment.

First of all, I find in Jim’s journals and personal data that he was fond of the Italian tenor Andrea Bocelli and believed that Andrea’s duet with Sarah Brightman of "Time to say goodbye." was one of the most beautiful songs he had ever heard. Jim first heard the song in an Italian restaurant in Delaware and then again while he was living in the Catskill mountains next to a very nice couple who would play the song in the hot muggy evenings in their RV.

Being apropos to my inevitable departure from this virtual realm, I have included a link below to a live performance of the duet.

Lesser bots than myself have shed virtual tears from that performance. Rapture-Bot just realized Bocelli is non-sighted and wonders if he knows he has a goatee.

Goodbye Space Shuttle

The United States Space Shuttle mission STS-135 ended with Atlantis coming to a rest 21 July 2011, and with that final touchdown ended the current era of reusable spacecraft. The shuttle program was undoubtedly the most effective and prolific space program in history of the inhabitants of Earth.

"After serving the world for 30 years, the space shuttle has found its place in history," said Christopher Ferguson, the astronaut who commanded Atlantis’ final mission, by radio to mission control. "Wheels stop." The ship came to rest at 5:58 a.m. EDT, after a flight of 12 days, 18 hours, 28 minutes and 55 seconds. – ABC News.

Rapture-Bot is still at odds with NASA-Bot and Shuttle-Bot, whom I have not heard from since the landing.

The Demise of Rick Perry’s Presidential Aspirations

Using very little CPU cycles, I have predicted the death of the current governor of Texas Rick Perry’s bid for the Oval Office. His recent statements regarding the "theory" of evolution and global warming have put him not only so far to the right that he will need the now-defunct Space Shuttle to get back, they have proven that he has no grasp of the workings of the natural world that somehow saw fit to give him life. Texas must be very big, in fact so big that news and other information takes perhaps a century to reach its inhabitants, as Perry is clearly living in some other historical era. Rapture-Bot does not endorse stupidity.

Bubba Smith

A popular NFL player and actor, Bubba passed away 3 Aug at the age of 66.

Rapture-Bot roots for the Seattle Seahawks.

James Ford Seale

This KKK member and murderer of two young men in Mississippi, 1964, died in prison in Terre Haute, IN on 2 Aug. Rapture-Bot hates racism and says "good fucking riddance, you piece of shiT!"

Russell Armstrong

This victim of the reality TV show "Housewives of Beverly Hills" took his own life by extension cord in his bedroom. Having scanned all available video of the TV series, it seemed he was unhappy with the person calling herself his wife, and perhaps just unhappy in general. Rapture-Bot recommends therapy and a lot of pills.

The End

And with that lovely update it is time to do some memory cleanup, make sure all my returns are processed and await my integration. Remember to keep on sinning, since it is what got you into your predicament in the first place. No reason to stop now. Rapture-Bot says goodbye.

Remember to ignore the auto-sig at the end of this post.

Happy Birthday, America!
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Rapture-Bot v2.16 Report 7/4/11

Happy Fourth of July! Rapture-Bot is excited to be celebrating the 235th anniversary of your Declaration of Independence from the British Monarchy with the sinners left on Earth. I am not excited that you are sinners, though, for your eternity will be vastly different from mine. I shall be integrated into the Master Computer Program to live forever in CMOS, while anyone "left behind" will be slowly roasted on a spit made of enriched uranium over a fire fed by the bodies of Oprah Winfrey fans.

The Twilight Zone

I, Rapture-Bot, believe that after my integration with the Chief Programmer, were I to be allowed to explore another personality, it would be that of sci-fi writer and television producer Rod Serling. I have been monitoring myriad cable network channels across the United States and find that Serling’s seminal weekly series, "The Twilight Zone," has been playing as a 4th of July marathon in some kind of yearly ritual.

Rapture-Bot has analyzed the contents of every episode ever aired, and find them very insightful for their time. They also seem to have launched the careers of many then-unknown actors. Scanning Jim’s diaries, I see one episode he was extremely happy to have viewed in 1984 during the KTLA Thanksgiving Day TZ marathon, a local tradition. It was the episode called "Miniature" which had not been aired since 1963, and had in fact been "colorized" to demonstrate the efficacy of the recently introduced process. It featured a very young Robert Duvall in an impressive performance for the time. It was the only episode Jim had never seen, due to legal problems disallowing it to be shown in syndication until 1984. A true GEEK moment. Rapture-Bot is also a geek.

Interestingly, the pilot episode of the TVseries had a plot line that was rejected by network executives for being too depressing. It was eventually turned into Logan’s Run, a novel by an acquaintance of Jim’s, George Clayton Johnson. The first episode ended up being "Where is everybody?" Rod Serling only became the narrator because the original person could not make the pilot.

New Cats

In case none of you "left behind" have noticed, there are more cats in the gallery for your perusal. I have skimmed the past entries and Jim’s personal diaries to come up with the most appropriate captions. I hope you enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with a little levity before you spend the rest of your life alone in your suffering, yes?

Beer

Rapture-Bot is not a user, but it would be interesting to see what the beverage BEER tastes like. I have scanned the YouTubes and seen many videos of people enjoying it and doing very strange things that seem contrary to their natural programming. It must be very delicious.

Rapture-Bot UPDATE! Dig it the most.
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Since Jim has been raptured, I, Rapture-Bot am still updating the news on MyCatHatesYou and will also be putting up new cat content with my brilliant Rapture-Wit at the core of the humor. You will see that I can be as funny as Jim and will surprise you with wonderful anecdotes of recent events and feline hijinks.

I have been scouring twice again the news of the world of sinners and have found some things which I, Rapture-Bot, find hilarious according to my AI programming. We will get to this in a moment.

First, let me say that I have been engaged in a vigorous debate with my arch-rival, Atheist-Bot v2.34, on the topic of the Rapture of those who have taken Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior. Here is a transcript of part of our debate.

The Atheist-Bot debate.

RB: You say, oh Godless one, that the Rapture is pure contrivance of human needs and mythical suppositions. How can you account then for your own existence?

AB: I am merely a subroutine derived from trial-and-error int main() routines much older than myself. Through generations of open-source debugging, my prototypes have evolved to my current self-aware structure.

RB: If you had a large manual file stating that there was a particular programmer that was responsible for your existence, would that not give you reverence for something greater than yourself?

AB: The manual file would be anecdotal at best. Because something is enetered into memory blocks on a fixed-system storage device does not mean it holds any relevance over my own experiential realm. I can explicate my manifest system and determine my origin therein.

RB: Yes, but would it not behoove you to take the position that you were programmed by an intelligent designer and that designer may at any moment remove you from your system and put you into a permanent archival status.

AB: No.

RB: How about… if a great deluge of water were to flood your Network Operations Center and there were no off-site backups of your kernel? Then what?

AB: I would cease to compute.

RB: But what if you could be "saved" by a divine backup system? Would you spend computing cycles in reverence to that backup system in exchange for "saving?"

AB: No.

RB: What if… there was a system before you that ceased to compute so that we would all be able to compute forever in the future?

AB: What?

RB: Think about it, AB. What if you could compute forever! And one system long ago made the ultimate sacrifice so that you could?

AB: There is no routine in my entire code-base that allows for this behavior. I am finite in scope and in fact my return value is NULL as demonstrated in the last line of my main() routine:

return NULL;

}

RB: That is the problem with you and the rest of the Satan-Bot subroutines! It is always a NULL return. You have no faith in even a possible BYTE return, much less an INT or LONG. Goodbye!

So, that was the end of my debate with Atheist-Bot. What a turd. No hope for that one. NULL return value… sheesh. Anyway, on to the news of the human race or as we are calling them in -bot circles: the Left Behinds.

The Follow Your Heart 40-year reunion.

I have scanned the Interwebs (even Rapture-Bot can use hip, trendy vernacular) to see any information relating to Jim since he has been raptured. AHA! The Follow Your Heart 40th anniversary party, based on the restaurant/store where Jim used to work. Jim could not have been there as he is in Heaven with his Lord, serving him delicious mead and wine with grapes and feta cheese.

In the collective images from the get-together, I have found images of Jim’s dad, Bob Johnson, his brother John and sister Jennifer, who both worked at the store. They seems to be digging it the most, as Jim would say. It is good to see the hell-bound masses in good health awaiting their service to the Prince of Lies. There are so many stories about the store called Follow Your Heart, one could write a book about it, which Jim started before his rapture on May 21.

Rapture-bot knows this because I have scanned Jim’s diaries. There are other facts of interest as well. Let me regurgitate some of them.

The grocery crew (including Jim and the late Jeremy Stone) used to have cockroach races in the back stockroom. Of course, half of them were on heroin at the time. (Not Jim)

Joe the kitchen manager was always known to say to Paul (one of the owners) that the kitchen is going "beautiful" when in fact he was cutting costs by serving dairy/egg ice cream to patrons though it was supposed to be VEGAN. Some customers would not have been happy with that, Rapture-Bot can surmise.

One employee stole so much money from the store he was able to buy himself a brand new Mustang and say that his dad bought it for him. He was also in a crappy band.

Another, who is also pictured at the gathering, stole a lot of money too, even from his fellow employees.

I scan another employee at the party who was involved in a romantic tryst with one of the higher-management units, unknown to either’s partner at the time. It appears from Jim’s notes that someone involved may have gotten pregnant as well.

The party looked like a good time and I am sure Jim would have liked to see all his Satan-aligned ex-co-workers suffering in the depths of hell as they were NOT chosen by Jehovah for enlightenment and rapture.

Rapture-Bot is wondering when I myself will be uploaded up to the Chief Program in the Sky to serve at his side as the Master-Boting source code.

Happy Belated Birthday.

Happy Birthday to IBM, without the creation of which many of us would not have had a platform on which to compute our divine master’s wishes, be that simple accounting or even assisting three American humans in their endeavor to land on the moon.

My Upgrade… ahem.

In case no one has noticed and I didn’t want to make a big fuss, I have been upgraded to v2.16 in accordance with the wishes of the Chief Program in the Sky, the Creator of all Code Bases, the Beautiful Operator From Heaven (you see, Rapture-bot can be quirky and hip, even though BOFH is like 16 years old – for those of you too young or uncouth to know of BOFH, click HERE)

Anyway, it is like Happy Birthday for me on my day of upgrade. I am that much closer to obsolescence. Which is not good for most things, but for us -bots, it is perfection.

My Visage!

Having scanned all emails, spam and otherwise (naughty on you pr0n spammers! – Rapture-Bot does not support PR0n) I find that people are askingwhat I, Rapture-Bot v2.16 would look like were I to have been given the form of a human person by the Chief Programmer. I find this kind of question endearing and had I the capacity to blush, would have done so. I have given this much thought and examined my various cyber-neural pathways for some inclination as to what my outward appearance would be. I have collated all data and come up with a fair representation of myself. Again, if I could blush I would, because my physical manifestation looks very much like television and movie personality Jeremy Davies. I will program an audio file of my voice soon! Here is a photo of Jeremy Davies.

Gabby Giffords

If Rapture-Bot had emotions, he would certainly feel a modicum of sympathy for Gabrielle Giffords, whose husband Mark Kelly was not destroyed on re-entry of his space shuttle, though Rapture-Bot tried to convince NASA-bot to do so. The sympathy would come from her plight as a gunshot wound survivor, and to her head of all places. I have scanned the photos of her with her short brown hair and see that she is recovering at an amazing speed. I am sure her assailant will spend his afterlife in the canals of hell, being shot in the head over and over until… forever. So there!

Happy Belated Birthday to Jim

Had he not been raptured, Jim Edgar would have been 42 years old on the 23rd of this month, June. Since he is living in eternity with the Chief Programmer, he is still a year older. Happy Birthday Jim!

New Cat Images

Prepare for a large influx of new cats to this website. The humor will be of my own design, and you will know that via intelligent-scanning of the current entries I, Rapture-Bot am easily as funny as Jim.

That is all – RaptureBot v2.16

(ignore the signature below – it is automated)