Finally some new GD cats!
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Sorry for the 34 year delay!

I am… sorry.  I am… behind on everything, but I finally got a new bunch (55!) of kittehs up thanks to all the help from the MCHY forum folks!  Click on the link to the left that says Newest Kitty Uploads and, well, see THE GOD DAMNED NEW KITTIES!

I am STILL workin on the new MCHY contest, but it is going to be so complex (yet so worth it) that I have had to CREATE the clues myself.  Yes, this is true.  I went out in the “REAL WORLD” and have created clues – that eventually show up on the Internet.  Which you will need.  To solve the damned puzzle.  But hey, the prize is a REAL XBOX 360 and shit.  And now for BETTER news:

Happy Two Year Anniversary to me!

This is a week or so late, but it must be celebrated!  On June 19, 2011, I wrote my four-page missive to Athena Baxivanos, drank ½ a bottle of Maker’s Mark, and made my comfy bed on the couch.

The next morning, she drove her BMW away to her job at the University of Maryland Medical Center, where she worked with “a bunch of worthless n*****s” – her words.  This was June 20, 2011 – Independence Day.

I made quick and took a shower, not forgetting to pee on the floor as a little treat for her when she got back.

Then I loaded up my truck with the most important things in my life:  my computer, my guns, and my guitar.  I had to leave my precious Nigels with Athena Baxivanos, sad to say.  I sure miss that kitty.  When I would walk by him, he would reach out his little paw and pat me to just say “Hi daddy!”  He would not have done well with me, though, because I was on the road for months and he would not have liked living in a trailer in the mountains of upstate New York with no AC.  Shit, I didn’t even like it, but I had the wine, so I was all right.

It took a lot for me to get up in the morning (mostly because of the hangover) and drive away from the abuse I had endured for two years.  Most people would say, no no no Jim, it would be easy.  But it wasn’t.  ‘nough said.  I left her a pile of cash to kill my phone account that was in her name and a lovely letter explaining how she had been right all the time and her life would be better without me.

I had left her a few times before, and then been convinced that “things will be better” if I come back, so I did.  Things would be better for a week or so, but then the shit would start up all over again.  So, June 20, two years after I left Seattle for her, three days before my 42nd birthday, I left for good.

There was a bit of PTSD that went along with that relationship, which now, two years later, I am pretty much done with.  I still have nightmares of living with her and her incredibly impossible moods and jealousies and ridiculous demands and expectations. I wake up in a full panic attack, unable to breathe normally, etc., just from the mental imagery of her twisted, scowling face.  I can’t say more.  Or can I?

Her racism was especially terrible and unnerving.  No class or color of human was safe from her excoriating.  Why I dealt with it, I can’t say because I do not know.

If I lived in a ditch in the middle of Mexico with no legs and incurable diarrhea, I would still be happier than the years I spent with her.  So, happy Independence Day to Jim and I am sure glad to be back among my people here in the Pacific Northwest and back in touch with you crazy cat people.

That is all. – Jim

Need more cats!
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2015 Bad Cat Page-a-Day calendar under way!

It is that time of the year again… we need fresh, hilarious pics of your cats for the Bad Cat 2015 calendar. If you have the right stuff, please send hi-res pics to submissions@mycathatesyou.com.
If your cat is used, the reward is as usual a free Bad Cat 2015 calendar, shipped at our cost to you around Oct ’14.

Some Vids to keep you relaxed!

The infamous SLOTH LOVES CAT (not like that!)

Then the Markos Buzzcut Challenge

More cats on their way!

I have about 50 cats in the captioning pipleline.  Currently they are being perused and abused by the MCHY forum members.  So, keep an eye out for that in the next week.  I don’t have as much time as I used to with regards to keeping stuff up to date here.

But… who cares?

That question follows naturally from me worrying about keeping the site up to date, does it not?  Does anyone actually read this stuff?  Or come here for new cats when they are up?  Used to be we had new cats every few days.  Well, in economic times like these… hehehe.

Oh hey!  This is a sad, but true story about Athena Baxivanos’ cat Chintamani: when Athena left Seattle to go live in Florida, she left the four cats behind with me.  Why be responsible, she thought, let Jim deal with it.  Well, I had to give one of the cats away because it would not make the trip to Florida easily.  It was only a few days after I arrived in Florida that I found out the poor elderly cat had been killed by the new owner’s dog in a random fit of aggression.  I had apprehension about leaving the cat in a house with a nutty Navy Vet and his crazy dog, but I thought the cat would at least die a natural death.

I was wrong :(  Very sad.  When Athena Baxivanos would ask about how the cat was doing, I had to tell her the cat was fine and enjoying life in the Pac NW, when in fact the opposite was true!  The cat had  been demised since almost day one.

There is the story about the family heirloom vase that she left behind, also.  When I arrived vase-less in Pensacola, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I sold it to a little old Mexican lady during my yard sale for $1.00.  That lady really loved that vase.  I guess Athena Baxivanos loved it too, but who cares?  Not me.  I’d do it again to see that old woman’s wrinkled, toothless smile as I took her Washington and handed generations of memories away.

The way I look at it, Athena Baxivanos can just ask her roommate, the inimitable Dave Holland, to find her another one.  They good like dat!

Now, back to the whiskey and another blunt.

That is all. – Jim

 

Marathon good wishes…
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Good Wishes to Victims

MCHY throws many *kisses and hugs and positive thoughts to those affected by the diabolical acts of April 15, 2013 at the Boston Marathon.  From the West Coast to the East Coast (and those off-landers HI and AK), we are all one nation and we all suffer when one suffers and when an 8-year old boy dies, a part of us dies along with him.

God Damn Ribbon, yo!

 

* – We would offer prayers but we cannot due to certain regulatory restrictions placed upon us by the Superior Court of the State of Washington.

That is all. – Jim

 

Finally got ‘er dun!
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2012 Year in Review

I finally got the 2012 year in review up.  Well, there is not much to it, but take a peek at the video below.

Below is another funny video for cat lovers.

Don’t forget to help caption our cats! See the post below!

Always below, man!

That is all. – Jim

New kittehs to caption, fooz!
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NEW KITTIES TO CAPTION

That is, if you are a forum member.  Used to be that was not the case (I know, MURDER was the case!) but the spammers felt so obliged to try to sell kitchen remodeling in Britain to us here we decided to make it members only, sorry :(

Here are some of the little monsters that will soon be gracing the site with YOUR captions (and mine, of course – I am not crazy – yes I am)




Sign up and get ready for the madness. Or else, YOU KNOW WHO will get you! That’s right, Keyser Soze!

 

THE OTHER MADNESS

You gotta go for The Shockers today against Loooahville.  Come on, you know it is awesome to have a team called the Shockers.

Go Wichita State!  I would say break a leg, but look what happened to Kevin Ware!  ** SNAP **

 

That is all – Jim