MCHY Frequently Unanswered Questions

  • What kind of assholes are you guys?
  • If my cat farts and I am not around, does it still smell?
  • I am trying to send you a picture of my pussy but it gets stuck to the scanner. What to do?
  • Are cats really thinking what the captions say or are you guys creative geniuses?

MCHY Frequently Asked Questions

I submitted my cat to you via the email, yet I see it not. What gives... honkies?

You see, it is like this. There are many factors as to why your cat may not be here. Let us examine them one at a time.

  • The majority of the submissions are of low-quality or blurry images; they are dismissed outright.
  • Then, there is the 'best-interest' factor. Let us be honest at this juncture. A picture of a cat sitting on a couch, while very special or beautiful to the owner, may not be in the best interest of the site. Those images are a dime a dozen, so unless there is a naked chick or slaughtered lamb in the picture they are dismissed.
  • After this, the EVIL factor comes into the equation. To hate or not to hate? That is the question we must then ask of the image. Does this cat really hate, or is he merely perturbed? Are the dreams of this feline replete with mass murder sprees, disembowelments and ritual sacrifice? The answer to this narrows the field even more.
  • Can the image be properly and cleverly captioned, removing all doubt of the feline's inner motivation with respect to the scene portrayed?
  • On top of all this, there is also a grading scale Jim learned from his many years of working for Microsoft. Each image is judged against its peers: the group of all other images of the same general composition and demonic potential. For every ten images we receive, the top five will advance to the website. But the other images that did not go into the immediate queue for captioning are saved away for days when we have no decent submissions and need some cannon fodder.

Why did you copy ICanHasCheezburgers?

It must be stated time and time again that MCHY predates that fad by half a decade. Do you think Jim would ever bastardize the English language thusly? Honestly, we can't even understand what some of those captions are trying to say. We are iz can haz been heer before dems and r funee in ai difrint weigh. Dig it the most.

What the fuck is Gravatar and why am I forced to use it?

The WordPress theme software we are using to maintain the MCHY content has native support for Gravatar-hosted avatars. After a bit of research, we found that Gravatar is ubiquitously leveraged among WordPress sites, which seems to be about 1/2 of the damned web these days. So, we jumped in the pool and got frothy.

Gravatar is simple to set up and any WordPress site you sign up to with the same email address used at Gravatar will automatically use the same avatar. And if you change your Gravatar image, it automatically "updates" on all sites. Go to GRAVATAR and click on the "Get your Gravatar today" link to set up an avatar in less than two minutes. Then make sure you use that same email when you sign up for an account on MCHY.

Why do I need an account to post a comment?

Because we hate to delete spam on a daily basis. Do you not? Are you some kind of Spamarrific super hero? Can we call you SpamMaster Fjord Ninety? Having an account here gives you an identity you can also use in our integrated forum software to troll and flame your fellow feline enthusiasts. You don't HAVE to set up an account, but you can't post a comment or such if you do not. Then what will you tell your friends at the local skating rink when they ask about your feline community involvement?

What is with all the cursings? I like TO fuck, but not READ fuck!

This question comes into the great email server in the sky every few weeks, so we will address it here once and for all.

This website is not for children, nor has it ever been. It was started by two disenchanted Microsoft employees that had nothing but vodka, notepad.exe and time on their hands. Being that those two guys grew up in Los Angeles, their experience was that of the big city. In larger urban populations, one becomes accustomed to a certain vernacular necessary for real-world dealings, shit-starting, and occasionally clever linguistic retreat. (Think Deadwood)

We found that the feline world is not so different. One finds cats who would never utter a "salty" word except in the most dire of circumstance, and then a minced oath may suffice, while others may curse their way to hell walking from the litter box to the feeding bowl, enflaming the ears of any close enough to overhear. The goal of MCHY is certainly to mimic the real world without filter or censor.

The point has been made that the Bad Cat and MyCatHatesYou book and the calendars are without such rough language, so why should the site be any different. We can say to that point that the site was here years before any of that stuff was even considered, and those products were certainly cleaned up for what we affectionately call the "Wall*Mart" crowd. Though a careful reader will certainly find some rather questionable material in that content regarding sexuality, drug use, and bestiality, but those issues are never brought up.

That being said, 4% of the captions (194 out of 4600) have the words fuck or shit; the rest do not. We find this ratio easily an order of magnitude lower than the occurrence of these words in our real life usage, ergo we find nothing wrong with using normal adult language in the anthropomorphism of the site's feline residents, represented by the minute ratio above.

One more note: though the captions are edited by Jim, many of them come straight from our own users. C'est la guerre, n'est-ce pas?

If you have any questions that were not covered here, which is very likely, please send us email and ask away. Jim will probably get back to you within a fortnight.

One note of appreciation to all of our fans that have stuck around since the last millennium and kept us relevant in the Web 2.0 world of bad grammar. Drop us a note to say hi and send a pic if you want.