Charles demands more cats!

Charles, my old buddy from the Microsoft days has commented to me that I am an asshole for only having four pics this year. I swear I thought there were more… and believe me, I have 100 still to post. I will get them done this week, for sure. I am in GO MODE. You will see.

It is about 43 years since I was killed in Vietnam, in the arms of my brother who said to me, DRINK THE FUCKING WATER! as it poured out of my throat wounds. I still have the leg and groin scars from that terrible debacle of U.S. policy. Anyway… thanks to my bro for trying to save me. Love hers!

Tomorrow Athena and I are going to be getting some pics from around town. We have a little area where the pelicans are out of control and will get some pics to post from there. They are amazing birds. In fact, we may do a little nature picture fest and post some of the beautiful sea birds around here. Athena found a little dead snake on the sidewalk yesterday. Poor little guy. Until then, here are some random pics from the past year.

Another pic of Matilda being… Matilda… BOING!.

Athena in Oregon while we were camping playing with the coons.

Me trying to light the campfire in Oregon, which is really Athena’s job, but we ran out of lighter fluid.

In other Pensacola news, the people here drive like shit. Total shit. They ride up your assholes until you are about to have an accident, then they change lanes and give you a look. It is really retarded. Athena’s middle finger is sore from these experiences.

Oh yeah, the food here in the South is crazy. Not good crazy, though. As I have heard from anyone who has ever been here or lived here is the truth: Deep fry everything and let Jehovah sort out my coronary artery disease. Fried green tomatoes, fried okra, etc. Love em all, but come on folks. I wonder how life was here before the deep fryer?

“What we gon’ do with this heyah catfish?” the boss asked. (not Bruce Springsteen)

“Well, we could wrap it in salt-water soaked kudzu leaves with some butter, garlic and bit of tarragon and put it on the coals until it reaches tender perfection?” Johnson offered.

“Johnson, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of! What we need is some kind of device that will cook the flesh to a crisp and infuse artery-clogging saturated fats into it! That is what we need heyah!” the boss said, slapping Johnson into the next decade. (again, not Bruce Springsteen)

Anyway, Athena and I were talking about opening a restaurant here on the order of the Anne Arundel Seafood place in Baltimore. YUM YUM! Freshly steamed seafood made to order. Cheap, delicious, expeditious! Last night however, Athena made me aware of what folly that line of thinking really is. Her position is that people around here in the small town South don’t want that kind of food. Otherwise it would already be here. They want their burgers, steaks, chicken wings, fried okra, deep fried pickle spears, etcetera.

We have found some steamed crabs around, but they are rather anemic and ineffectual. In Pensacola Beach, there is a place called Crabs We Got ‘Em which has a nice selection of crabs – five pounds of Dungeness, Snow, and Alaskan King for FITTY BUCKS. They are also on the Gulf of Messico and have good drink specials, so check ‘em out. Great service too. Hemingway’s in P’cola Beach is also nice for the price and the food is delish and the service is friendly. We had a pound of snow crab for ten bucks and eggs Benedict to die for. Wait a second! What is this? YELP.COM?

There is one more thing I am supposed to post about, but my notes are not here, so it will have to wait until the next few days.

Oh, I just check my notes, which sort of refer back to the food rant above. Tempura flakes in your spicy tuna hand roll! RIGHT! What is in a hand roll of the spicy tuna variety?! Rice, chopped tuna, spicy sauce, cuke and avo. THAT’S IT, NIGGGGGIRI! Well, in the South, since you can’t have shit NOT deep fried, they toss huge spoonfulls of deep fried tempura flakes in the hand rolls. It is like… you can’t even taste the delicate flavor of the tuna or, Jehovah forbid, scallops if you like spicy scallop roll. You have to actually order the rolls WITHOUT CRUNCH, as they call it. Crunch this, NAGGGGASAKI!

Happy Birthday Moon Landing

If you are a geek like me, you know that 41 years ago this very day two men tempted fate and stood on the surface of our fair satellite, Luna. While Michael Collins kept a careful eye overhead, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin put their footprints into the lunar dust; the first time humans have touched another heavenly body. Shine on you crazy diamonds!

We are having a blowout sale on MCHY merchandise this week. Maybe longer, depends. I am leaving next week for the Gulf Coast to live as long as can be lived there. My woman, Athena, is already there and has staked out a wonderful habitat in Gulf Breeze on the English Navy Cove. I have been in the process of disposing of all of our worldly possessions here in Seattle and have whittled our existence to a small truckload of things. Among these things are crates and crates of MCHY tee shirts, underwear, hoodies and mousepads. I wish NOT to haul all this stuff across the country (for the third time), so I am liquidating at 1/2 the normal price. Take advantage of the savings and buy today!

Oh yes, the ubiquitous question of new cats. Thanks to all of those who have donated their pics to the 2012 Bad Cat Calendar, I have about 100 pics to get sorted, sized, thumbnailed and posted here in the next few days. It WILL happen. Shhh, tell no one!

Keeping it real, yo’.

It has been a long time since I checked in with everyone and said howdy and what’s been going on. In short news, the MCHY site is still here, albeit neglected by yours truly. I will have updates to the cat pics soon, as I am working on the 2012 Bad Cat Calendar right now.

This means that I need a very quick influx of good cat pics that I can use for the calendar. You know the email addy: submissions @  Send anything you have that may look good in print. No yawning or cats sitting on a couch. Gimme something to chew on, eh?

This last year, I embarked on a great journey, literally all around the country… to be with my girl, Athena Bee.

This is us hanging out at the inner harbor of Balitmore City, where she lived. Actually she lived in a very nice suburb of Baltimore.

I eventually moved out to Baltimore with the plan to go to Florida afterwards. Here are some pics of my trip along the 90 to Baltimore.

Columbia Gorge – always a kick ass view.

The famous Wild Horses monument. You can’t see it in this picture, but under each horse is a iron pile of droppings.

Continental Divide – I stood at the top and tried to figure out which way I was supposed to roll. Nothing happened.

Some crazy religious statue called the Lady of the Rockies. It has nothing to do with baseball, though, but is still cool.

Wyoming! God bless open carry states. You getta walk around with your peacemaker snug in your holster and wave to the Cheney family as they drive their cattle through the middle of town. There is also DEVIL’S TOWER! More on that later.

Ahhh, good old South Dakot! (you have to take the last syllable off of these states once you enter them, i.e. Montan, South Dakot, Minnesot, Wyom, etc.) Another open carry state. Good idea too, in case you run across rabid prairie dogs – more on that later, too.

Who knew? Huge phalluses in the midwest?!

This human being should get off at the next exit and turn itself in for any number of crimes against humanity – notably blocking the sun from public view.

Wisconsin doesn’t fuck around with their cheese. Neither does this mouse I caught climbing the sign. I went in to get some delicious curds and came back to the largest shit ever on my car.

That is all for tonight, Part I as it is. More to come in the next few days. Right now, I have to get the calendar under weigh. Send me pics… or die.

No more interceptions, Hasselbeck!

One has to think on days like these… why do you, Jim, root for the shittiest teams in sports history? We can talk about the Seahawks and the Mariners and perhaps the Thunderbirds and why the fuck not throw the Brewers in there for good measure?

The day of giving thanks has come and gone and I am still wondering why there is a corn cob hovering about the house with ethereal motions toward places off limits? I like corn, sho nuff… I like taters, sho nuff, I even like burying turkeys up to their neck while dancing the Movement of the Crystal Mountain. Glug glug glug, Mr. Redskin!

There are cats to be seen here finally. Yes, Orb-Master Zero, cats. More sitting in the queue that will be seen within two or three days. Keep your eyes out… like one might take one’s teeth out in the days of old. Put them in a bottle of formaldehyde for future posterity.

Where have I been? What? You spew questions from your mouth like an overflowing sewer of ancient Rome? I will tell all soon. Well, not ALL… but much! It has been a crazy summer, to which you will be privy complete with images of the trip. The TRIP, MAN! 4:20 honkeys!

Love you all! Be safe and remember to give Santa a good shivvin’ on the day of Christmas!

Still here, folks.

Sorry I have not been getting cats up sooner. I have been traveling and working on the new Bad Cat calendar for 2011. The 2010 and 2011 are both going to be in full color, even the Page-A-Day. I know a lot of people have complained about that, but it was not my call.

Keep sending your submissions in, I am amassing a nice collection to throw up hopefully by the end of the month.

Lessee, what else is going on around here. Well, I am leaving Seattle and moving to lovely Florida where I can experience what it is like to have Vitamin D and Serotonin in my bloodstream. I have been here for 19 years and it has worn on me. More on this later…

My Cat Hates You , the book, has been doing well. If you want to give your friends a taste of this website, please buy a copy and send it to them… anonymously.

Love you all… be cool like four Fonzies!