It is HEEEERREEE!
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Today is the day! My Cat Hates You hits the retail shelves this very day! Borders – Barnes & Noble – Waldenbooks – everywhere! Buy one today for those you love who are besieged by the evil feline cabal! Put one in the bathroom in case you run out of toilet paper. Use them to shim your table on the uneven floor. We also have the NEW 8th anniversary mousepads available in the Store tab. Dig them the most.

We will be having a special book-release sale on ALL MCHY merchandise next week! Get ready to shop until you drop!

In light of recent events concerning the possible discovery of Mr. Steve Fossett, I am reminded of Sir Richard Branson traipsing about the globe, getting his mug in any possible photo op for anything that might be possibly history making. There is going to be a rocket launch… Richard Branson better be there or it is not legit! Someone is flying across the Himalayas in a balloon, better call Branson and get his beard here to give it validity! I have been wondering for awhile if I was to put out a press release that I was going to take a world record turd, how long it would be before he popped up with a “Cheerio, where’s the dung to be dropped, then?”

Here’s to credit!
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The porcelain called my stream of urine like a calf for its mother. I unzipped and let it fly, splash splash. I sighed and looked straight away. Above the urinal was a poster, one of these new advert boards that attack you while you are drunk and susceptible to their methods. It said this:

Get a DELL or HP computer for only $29.99 a month!

I pondered this pitch in my inebriation and realized that for a $19.56 monthly credit card payment, I could buy a Smith & Wesson Model 39 9mm handgun and a box of ammo, go home, load a round in the chamber and blow my brains all over the wall. I ask you what is the better deal? Exactly… AND I never have to actually make a payment on the gun, so I win both ways.

Oh, the feisty feline faeries of Farhnoor (silent h) have been in activity upon my digital bits and have given us 118 new cats for this month. I know, this year has totally been lacking in creativity and impulse. But, I HAVE been working on another book (And so has Beth McNelley) and the 2010 Bad Cat calendar. There will be more news about the book this coming week. There will also be more new cats up on the site this week. Maybe another 50 or 60 or so. Many thanks and $$$ to Beth for helping me with the book, the calendar, and the cats now appearing.

Oh, new word of the month is Jewnius. Some examples:

  • Einstein laid bare the working of the universe with his Special Theory of Relativity. He was a Jewnius of the highest order.
  • After escaping captivity, Schoenberg killed four Nazi guards with a pine needle and half a shoe. He was a historic Jewnius.

The first appearance of the word is found in the book of Shemot, where it describes Moses as he devises a plan to lead the Jews from captivity under Pharaoh. Write it down and use it in synagogue.

It is said that if you look at a girl’s mother, you will see what she will look like in her later years. For someone obsessed with older women, that may be a good piece of advice. Though, I also have to wonder if someone obsessed with children would be able to claim that looking at pictures of the same girl when she was a child would give an inclination as to how attractive children of this person will appear. Attractive for immoral purposes I fear.

This is… your future.
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Here it is in a nutshell… you are the future. What a nutshell. It is possibly the size of the biggest nutshell either. In back of the truck it happened.

I was in the hospital for months. Many days, my friends. This is when I learned that nothing like this would ever happen again. You are professional. I am professional. I wish to sweat it up some. This happens when there is nothing else left in the tank.

I want to wear cowboy boots and kick others in the groin. I am not a trucker, though. So what do I do?

I will go to South Dakota where shit is right. I love South Dakota. It is beautiful. You come down out of the I-90, the continental divide and there it is (after you leave Montana) and it is gorgeous. Deadwood here I come. I think it is the best place. Maybe next to Montana. Big Sky Country for sure. The best skies I have ever seen. Utah is awesome too. I love the desert. But I have had too many beers so now I am into the basement of my life.

Who else is onboard? You? You want to sponsor a MCHY roadtrip? Holy shit, I like your ‘tude!

The Right is RIGHT!
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I am not allowed to politick anymore lest I lose all of my Republican fans and viewers. However, to their great joy, I must make two observationss.

John McCain has been proven correct today in that he is no Bushie, and Obama seems to be aligned with the Right!

The current administration is sending an envoy to talk to the Iranians! Just what John McCain said he wouldn’t do, but Obama said he would. So now we see… Bush has taken a page from Obama’s game plan, because they are actually in cahoots. McCain would do good to ‘stay the course’ and never deal with such entities as the Axis of Evil.

In other news, I was corrected regarding my Antarctica post. It appears now that OBAMA has not been to Antarctica to observe the penguins and make snow angels, where McCain has. I have this on a good source who happens to be on ice as I type. She said no one was allowed to talk to McCain however, because he was undergoing some strange bionic replacement.

79 days to go!